FOOTBALL IS
NOT GAY.
THE INSTITUTE FOR FOOTBALL CLARITY

FOOTBALL
IS NOT GAY.

An educational resource for people
who keep making it weird.

LET’S LOOK AT THE FACTS
EST. TO SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT100% CONTACT SPORT
EXHIBIT ATHE BALL.Nothing to read into.
OFFICIALLY
JUST FOOTBALL★
REGULATION SIZE. REGULATION INTENTIONS.FIG. 01 ↗
FULL CONTACT.✦ZERO IMPLICATIONS.✦JUST THE GAME.✦FULL CONTACT.✦ZERO IMPLICATIONS.
OUR OFFICIAL POSITION REF. 001

LET’S NOT MAKE
THIS COMPLICATED.

Two men can collide at full speed, wrap their arms around each other, fall to the ground together, and have eleven other men pile on top of them.

That is called defense.

Grow up.

STANDARD DEFENSIVE FORMATION11 v 11
OUR GUYS× THEIR GUYSNO FURTHER QUESTIONS.
THE EVIDENCE

KNOW THE GAME.
STOP THE SPECULATION.

A closer look at the terminology.
A perfectly normal amount of explanation.

01 / 06
TIGHT ENDS

It’s a position. Not a preference.

A good tight end is big, dependable, and knows exactly when to open up. Every man on the field wants one he can trust.

Personnel. Nothing personal.
02 / 06
MAN COVERAGE

One man. All over another man.

You pick a man. You stay with that man. You follow his hips wherever they go. For sixty minutes, he is your entire world.

That is commitment to the scheme.
03 / 06
DEFENSIVE PENETRATION

Get in there. Go deep.

Sometimes a group of very large men forms a tight opening. Your job is to drive through it as hard as possible. The coaches insist on this.

We are talking about the A-gap.
04 / 06
TEAM CHEMISTRY

A firm slap means “good job.”

A handshake is impractical when your teammate’s backside is right there. It is efficient workplace communication. Sometimes it requires a second slap.

Strictly a performance review.
05 / 06
THE LOCKER ROOM

Just men being men. Together.

After an hour of intense physical contact, the team undresses in the same room. This builds trust. Then they shower. This builds hygiene.

Do not confuse the two.
06 / 06
THE PILE

There’s room for one more.

When a man goes down, his teammates rush to get on top of him. Then the other team joins in. Somewhere underneath fourteen men, there is a ball.

The ball is the important part.
THE MATTER IS SETTLED.

IT’S NOT WHAT
IT LOOKS LIKE.
IT’S FOOTBALL.

Twenty-two men. One ball. Absolutely no subtext.

BACK TO THE FACTS
INDEPENDENT. UNNECESSARY. ONGOING.

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